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Thursday, June 13, 2013

Fairy Tales for the Modern Man

In line with the latest fad of "fairly tales for XYZ". Here is my attempt at writing the set for writing fairy tales for the modern man.

In case you are not aware of this fad, please go through the following links:

Fairy tales for the introverts: http://introvertfairytales.com/

Fairy tales for the modern woman: http://thehairpin.com/2013/06/six-fairy-tales-for-the-modern-woman/

Here goes nothing:

# 1:

Once upon a time a guy was in a relationship where he doesn't have to be the understanding or sensitive kind. He could speak his mind without worrying about hurting her feelings. He doesn't have to notice insignificant things about her to make her feel appreciated. He had once told her that he loved her and she knew that he still does and that was enough.

The End

# 2:

Once upon a time, a guy found what he loved to do. He started doing it, the more he did it, the happier he got, so he did it some more. People around him didn't really understand why he liked doing what he was doing, but they were supportive anyways. Over the course of time, he started making a little money on the side because of what he loved doing. Eventually he realized he could
take the plunge, leave his job and still manage to stay afloat. He took the plunge, kept at it and now only does what he loves to do.

# 3:

Once upon a time, a guy had a good job.He kinda loved it. He had enough money to pay his rent, go out when he wanted to and he was fit enough to  drink and eat to his heart's content. He had friends, men and women, they liked his quirky sense of humour and never nagged him about getting married. He met them regularly. He met a few women who respected his independence both in action and
in thoughts, as much as their own.They talked about interesting things, laughed together and did a few other things too. Later, he found someone for whom commitment was not equal to marriage.
They decided to live together. They realized they can't manage to have kids, so they decided not to have them and instead increased contribution to their retirement funds. They lived together till they died.

# 4:

Once upon a time, a guy realized he doesn't like the city so much. There were too many people, too much noise and the colour of the sky was all funny. He decided to go back to his hometown in mountains. He still lives there and loves it.

The End.

# 5:

Once upon a time, a guy realized that he doesn't like his home town so much. There weren't enough fun people, the evenings were eerily silent, the sky was too blue for his taste and to top it all everybody knew him and his parents. He studied hard and got into a good college. He landed a job from the college itself. Now he lives in a small room near the multiplex with his college mates.
He goes to movies every weekend, parties once in a while, holds the hand of the girl he likes in public because no one knows him or care and likes the fuzzy pale blue of the sky.

His parents are still at his hometown and don't give him any grief.

The End

Confessions of a Jeevansaathi Finder

I am writing this because these days marriage is on my mind, there, I said it,so move on already :)

->These days, I understand why people choose to get married. Surprisingly, I can see a point when everyone around me expresses their concerns about my impending matrimonial plans. My best buddies who are married now have ready tips to give to find just the right girl. I listen to their advice carefully and sometimes implement it as well.

->The FB updates on marriage, honeymoon pics do affect me. Deeply. Period.

->I am more active on Jeevansathi.com than on facebook or twitter.

->I think a little less of myself for registering on a website to find a soulmate.


->I am confused about how to write my profile details, should I present myself as the nice, stable, well educated guy that the parents will like or should I go for the cool guy write up that the girls will like. My current profile write up is the first kind in case you were wondering.


->My height on my profile page is more than my actual height (but then so is my weight :P)

->I am keeping a french goatee only so that I look old (or maybe better) enough for marriage.

->Though by this time one should get wiser, I am still looking for love as a reason to get married. I dread marrying someone for "practical" reasons.

->I still have no clue about the kind of person I would want to marry. To act my age, I do rattle off few "politically correct" criteria to others when they ask .Deep down I am completely sold on that marrying your soulmate bullshit :)

->I can now relate to the quote "No woman likes to be loved only for her beauty and no man likes to be loved only for his salary".

->I think less of people who send me horoscope request even before talking to me.

->I find it uncomfortable talking to 3-4 girls at a time about a marriage, it seems unethical, but then this maybe nothing but my MBA talking.

->I find it difficult to tell a girl that I don't like her enough to continue talking so I simply stop calling and hope that she gets the hint. Manning up and telling the truth is difficult, I have tried it once but it really doesn't help anyone.I make up for this chicken act by getting the hint myself soon enough.

->I think the truly regressive nature of our society reveals itself during marriage discussions.

->I have a feeling that eventually I will have to take this decision through a leap of faith and not through my inner voice as I would like to.

->I think that spending lavishly on marriage ceremony is a criminal waste. However, I doubt that I will be able to convince all the "stakeholders" (including the girl) to have a simple and most importantly happy wedding, which Indian marriages seldom are. I have a feeling that I will be judged as rigid, radical and someone with no respect for traditions. Those who disagree with my unhappy marriage comment, please don't judge a wedding by its facebook pics.

->Most of girls I meet are modern enough to raise their voice against dowry, however I am yet to see someone who is modern enough to understand that a dream wedding ceremony (and accompanying expenses) is not our parents' duty or obligation.

All being said, I appreciate everyone on these websites on their own, for taking the chance to find the one they want to spend the rest of their lives with.It is a total chaos with so many people having so many whims and fancies of their own. It takes some courage to put your heart out knowing that it may be kicked around. I know it is not easy being judged for your looks, height, weight, caste, age, educational qualification, salary by some random person.So kudos to these soldiers of fortune for marching on to build a future of their own. You incorrigible bastards, your persistence in this messed up world of online matrimony tells me that there is still enough hope in this world.

Stay Beautiful
Amitabh

I am Secular

I know, the moment I say that I am secular, i will be judged. Infact a lot more than a nobody like me needs to be, but nonetheless it will happen. A few would think what is the need to state something so trivial about yourself, someone would think here comes another (pseudo)secular, bloody arm chair intellectual as if we didn't have many of them already.Few will be downright hostile and question my allegiance to the 'family' and the 'party', ain't all those secular types suppose to be congress wallahs after all ?


But I do stick my neck out and say that I am only secular when it comes to my beliefs about my own religion and other religion. Isn't this what being secular meant to be in the first place ? I believe that all the religions and people who practice should co-exist peacefully in our society. I also think it is important for our future and the only sustainable strategy for human survival.


To clarify a few things, I was born a Hindu, because of the simple reason that my parents were Hindu. When I grew up and started making sense of things, I learnt all the chants (gayatri mantra, hanuman chaalisa, morning chants or praatah smaran and even meal chants or bhojan mantras). I learnt about my gods partly from my parents and mostly from magazines like Nandan, ChandaMama and Amar Chitra Katha. I had faith in the divine power as well (at least I think so ) till a point of time. Then somewhere along the line, I lost that faith and I stopped being particularly religious. I would like to quote some earth shattering event/ incidence for my loss of faith, but I can't. It was a gradual thing and to be honest with you I really can't pin point the moment when I crossed the line from being a believer to a non-believer. As I grew older, I realized that I am lucky to be born in a religion where there is place for even non-believers like me. My parents never forced me to be religious, all my relatives know that I don't believe in religious practices and apart from the mild and playful scolding, it has not been a major issue. "Aaap jo prasaad samajh ke doge woh main mithaai samajh ke kha loonga" (What you gave me as the Prasadam, I will eat it as sweet). So far it has been a peaceful co-existence and I am grateful for that.


Collective identities (i.e. religion or caste) takes precedence in our mind when there are too many people to know individually. Hence, in any city / town with significant size, these identities become important and most people (or kids) brought up in such places tend to put inordinate amount of emphasis on such identities.In that sense I guess I was fortunate enough to be born in a rather small town.I had muslim neigbhours as well as hindu neighbours. As it happens, I had many friends and used to go to everyone house. When you are a child and live in a neighbhourhood where walls are shared between houses, you don't differentiate people based on their religion. We would play around, fight with each other and will know each other parents. I used to call my neighbourhood friend's mother "Ammy" because that is what he used to call her, and I wasn't alone in doing that. She would scold us and give sweets to us as well. If I fell sick she would come over and give my mother some advice about home medicine.My mother would do the same if my friend got sick. Mind you, all the families were acutely aware of our religious differences, the elderly would hardly come and eat something at each other places.Nevertheless it was just individual choice and people who chose otherwise never got anything other than a mild scolding.I feel that people in those days didn't use to fuss so much about inane things.These things were important to them but not so much that they would create a ruckus or kill people for it. I guess what you see in childhood stays with you. I was no different. Hence for me, relgious identity of people have always been insignificant. Hence I call myself a secular person. This is also one of the very few things I feel very passionately about, because it seems so right to me. It seems to me the only sensible way.


I am one of the billion indians who can believe in anything he wants to. By definition, I chose to believe in the equality of all religions hence I am secular. It is not a show of allegiance to a political outfit, or ignorance / arrogance about my national history. It is simply a personal choice, don't read too much into it.I hate it when people equate being secular with being another kind of communal and term it as pseudo-secularism.No matter now improbable they believe it is, there ARE people in the world who do not take theirs or anyone's religion so seriously. For them religious belief are not much different from the kind of food one like to eat. It is simply not fair to judge anyone based on their preference for chicken curry and rice or their religion.


I can understand why people would not believe the proclaimed secular stance of a political party. The politics of ideals and values is long gone and today every single thing being done/proclaimed by a political party to gain/retain votes. However, people like me have nothing to gain by being secular except that it is part of our belief system. It doesn't cost us anything neither it gives us anything, but we still choose to be secular. So next time if I say I am secular, my only hope is that you would believe me without any apprehensions. You would know that I am a simple citizen of my country trying to live the life I want and believing in the things which I consider important. I have no ulterior agenda, sympathies or allegiance to any political outfit.


I am secular because I don't judge people based on their religion. Period.
 

ख़ानाबदोश जिंदगी

ख़ानाबदोश सी जिंदगी मेरी यूँ ही चलती रहती है,
रात में रख के दिल सिरहाने पे,
सुबह उठती है और फिर चलने लगती है,

कभी किसी के हाथ में, कभी किसी के साथ में,
कभी मेरे लफ़्ज़ों में, कभी तेरे मायनो में,
रुकती है, तहेरती है, दो घूँट पानी पीके,
मुँह पे छिटें मार के, फिर से चलने लगती है,

कोशिश करती है कभी कुछ पकड़ने की,
एक दोस्त, एक याद, थोड़ी खुशी, कुछ लम्हे,
रखती है अपने झोले में, पैबंदी झोले से हार मान के,
तो थोड़ा झुंझला के, झोला खाली करके,
ख़ानाबदोश सी जिंदगी मेरी यूँ ही चलती रहती है

घर का कोई पता नहीं, सड़कों पे मारी मारी सी,
एक घरोंदा ढूँढती, कभी इधर, कभी उधर,
खाली झोला लिए हुए,
ख़ानाबदोश सी जिंदगी मेरी यूँ ही चलती रहती है

सड़क पे चलने वाले, पलट के देखा करतें है,
यह भी कभी देख के उन्हें मुस्कुरा देती है,
इन भरी सड़कों को देख के, थोड़ा घबरा के
यह भी इन ज़िंदगियों की भीड़ में शामिल हो जाती है,
ख़ानाबदोश सी जिंदगी मेरी यूँ ही चलती रहती है

एक जुनून की तलाश

साँस को रोके हुए
दिन में सोते हुए

रात में जगते हुए
सड़क पे चलते हुए

लतीफों पे हंसते हुए
गमों पे रोते हुए

मसर्रतो* पे चलते हुए
कभी औंधे मुँह गिरते हुए

कभी पास आते हुए,
कभी दूर जाते हुए,

बेमतलब सोचते हुए
बेवजह बोलते हुए

गजब का कुछ पढ़ते हुए
अजब सा कुछ लिखते हुए

बस इक जुनूँ की तलाश में,
जिंदा हूँ मैं

ऐसा इश्क़

सही ग़लत से परे,
नफे नुकसान से बेमतलब,
जिंदगी और मौत से थोड़ा आगे,
रस्मो रिवॉज़ो से बेपरवाह,

सहूलियत और परेशानी से अलग,
समझ और नासमझ से अजनबी,
आसमान से बुलंद, गर्त से गहरा,
गैरत से नीचे, गुरूर से उपर,

दिल का ही नहीं, नसों में दौड़ता,
आखों और जिस्म का नहीं, रूह में लिपटा,

इश्क़ हो जनाब, तो बस यूँ हो |


In case you suspected, the opening line is inspired by the last dialogue of the movie "Rockstar".

Another Translation : Couplet by Vikram Seth

This is a couplet originally written by Vikram Seth which I have translated on a whim. Here is the link to original couplet my Mr. Seth:  Night Watch:

इस रुकी हुई बेचैन रात में,
घंटो जगते हुए, छत को तक्ते हुए,
एक ख्याल मेरे दिल को खाए जाता है,
के शायद सुबह आई आज बिना रोशनी के |

- Vikram Seth