I am a man without a home, no, not the philosophical sort which you rich sorts search for all your life, the one without four walls and a roof above.Every day or rather every night I search for a place where I can lie down without being disturbed by cops, dogs, rats and any other such creatures. Every morning I wake with the knowledge that my day would end somewhere else. All my belongings are in a big polythene bag which I carry with myself at all point of time. I found it with great difficulty while rummaging through the garbage of a posh housing society, or maybe it was my lucky day.Dark corners, isolated places are the best to take care of my the bodily necessities, especially the ones you have in the morning. The smaller urgencies are taken care much easily. I can vaguely remember the regularity of brushing my teeth and the feeling associated with it, now a gargle with water (which sometime is clean and sometime is not) is more than enough to last me through the day.Like love, taking a bath happens when it happens, there is not much I can do about it.
Oh, in case you were wondering, I wasn't born on the road, I had a family once. Not so loving though, but nonetheless I had it.In fact, I am almost as educated as most of you are, give or take a few degree / diploma. So how the fuck I ended up here. Let's admit it, you don't give a fuck.There are million ways to go up in life, and there are a billion to go down. Mine was one of them, so there is that.
I tend to get philosophical at times and talk to no one in particular (usually the stray dogs are the best listeners). I would wonder how worrying about my next meal or next bath has made me free of all the other superficial worries in my earlier life, like finding the meaning of life or my calling. Mostly, i call my bluff myself and say out loud, "my life sucks.
Once in a while, I feel oddly buzzed to change my life for better. This feeling lasts for sometime (usually for around five minutes or so) and then it fizzles out on its own. Being on the other side, my motivation gets hampered largely by the fact that your life is not necessarily better. You are equally unhappy, stressed and insecure about your own future like I am. The effort to reach your state doesn't seem to be worth it, hence I wait and continue with my 'sucky' life.
