Growing up is a difficult thing. The first and foremost thing that bugs us is the sudden barrage of responsibility. This means, I have to take a decision without being told by someone (or rather scolded) regarding important things in my life. I will have to decide what kind of career I want, I will have to decide what kind of friends I should have, I even have to decide what vegetables to buy so that the Bai can cook a decent meal for me.
This seems to be the first phase of the growing up, it takes time but one gets used to it. Though, there is not much to like (it seemed a nice thing to have as a kid, your own money and your own decision, utterly overrated stuff, now I know :|), one gets by.
The next phase and probably the more difficult one, seems the phase when you have to learn to let others make their own decisions. It would not have been much of an issue if these others were truly others. But the decisions that you worry (or fuss ) over are the ones, being taken by the people who you care about. It is tempting and in fact feels downright moral (at least in our culture) to go ahead and help them make these decisions (by one mean or the other). However, the truth is, that like us, these dear ones of ours, also need to make decisions of there own, mostly for their own good. They do get hurt at times, but if the decisions are their own, they learn from it. The perils of being the surrogate decision maker are not clear upfront and hence it takes a huge amount of maturity (or growing up :)) to resist its temptation.
It is fairly similar to when a baby first learns to walk.On their wobbly feet, they rise up, their hands and head shaking, they take their first step (only after so many trial runs ), they fall down and it hurts their soft / cute bottoms, sometimes they cry as well, and if you care enough (which you do), your heart is in your throat the whole time, almost ready to come out. But you stop yourself from running to them and taking them in your arms, because you know it is important for them to learn to walk themselves.
But such clarity of purpose is a rare thing in life, and when it comes to letting your loved ones, take their own decisions, one would never know, if it is alright to be a moot (and hopefully supporting) spectator, while they are taking the most important decisions of their lives. The only thing we can do is to stay with them and not leave, even when they make a decision not to your liking.
As in Maths and so in life, First Principles are the only important things, rest are derivatives :)
Stay Beautiful,
Amitabh
